Playing in the Rain

I haven't posted for awhile so I am going to back up and post some older stuff. We got a lot of rain with tropical storm Hanna a few weeks back. When it first started pouring, Josh loved playing in it. And later Ben didn't. After our basement flooded Ben was outside trying to keep the water moving away from our house. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even help him. He was soaked in about 3 seconds. I wanted to take a picture but I was already in trouble for laughing and not helping very much.

Josh is into saying bye to everything. "bye-bye bubble, bye-bye bus, bye-bye guys, bye-bye ball,..."

Another rainstorm on Sunday. The sun was shining as the rain poured down. Josh loves playing in the rain.

Photo Shoot

We had pictures taken while we were in Utah. My brother's girlfriend, Ali was the photographer. They turned out pretty cute.

Too bad Josh would only make monkey faces, so this is about as good as it gets.

Utah Trip-- Part 3

Hogle Zoo

The last time we went to Hogle Zoo was with Cameron. It was fun to take Josh. He loves to see the animals. Most of our family came, and it was fun to all be together.

Josh eating an icecream cone. (He would sit in Carlee's stroller but not his own).
Blowing me kisses on the carousel.
Pointing out the gorillas--his favorite!

Park City

We went up to Park City a few times while we were in Utah, twice with Ben's family, and once for our anniversary. It was so green and gorgeous up in the mountains. We took a ski lift up the mountain. Something I would not recommend for active toddlers. It was pretty scary trying to keep Josh on our laps. But we made it and the views were breathtaking. I miss those Utah mountains.

All of us.

Dad getting an awesome Josh hug. Josh is such a snuggly guy and randomly surprises us with hugs around the neck. I love it!

Utah Trip--Part 2

August 16th Cameron's Day

We went with our families to Cameron's grave. We have made it kind of a tradition to let balloons go "high to the moon" on this date and his Birthday. Josh loves it. It was nice to be there, always a little hard but nice.

Josh, me and the growing baby.

Another tradition we started is to go to a baseball game the 16th. Cameron loved baseball and this is something fun we can all do together that celebrates his wonderful life.

"High to the Moon"
Josh riding on the train. He had a very hard time waiting in line until it was his turn and then he was so serious the whole ride. That is the new obsession lately--trains.

Utah Trip--Part 1

Lake Powell

I was so excited to take Josh to Lake Powell this summer with my family. He absolutely loves the water and he is just the right age. Well he enjoyed it for a few hours the afternoon we got there and then that night he woke up off and on with a raging fever. He was miserable the next day. He only wanted me to hold him and was sleeping on me and my growing belly off and on through the day. It was sad and we were really worried about him so we left after being there for less than 48 hours. He had a nasty viral infection with a sore throat, and it took him a few days to recover. It was much easier on all of us to be in the air conditioning and his crib. But still I was sad. I hate missing out on Lake Powell.

A happy picture before the sickness...

and one feeling miserable.

We were lucky to be in Utah for Andrea's baby shower (Ben's sister). It was fun to see all the family, and help Andrea celebrate. She is having a little girl (Jocelyn Mae) the first of November. Josh and Carlee playing the piano.
The cute cousins
Josh eating corn on the cob

Anniversary

My grinning Cameron

I am not sure where to really start with this post. I feel that I must post today as preview for tomorrow. Tomorrow is August 16th. The horrible date now a permanent part of my life. My sweet Cameron has been gone longer than he was here. Even typing that makes my stomach spin and knot. "They" say time heals, and I hated "they" for awhile. But really there is some truth in it. Time helps because life is full of not only pain and trials, but beauty and joy.

Me and Joshua

Lately though I have been feeling overwhelmed as all these emotions resurfaced. I miss Cameron today as much as I missed him the night of August 16th, 2006. Sometimes I feel I miss him more because the shock has worn off and I have been living in the real world and knowing what it is to miss him. I hope that I am growing and learning from this trial, but sometimes I am not sure.

I think the one thing I am learning is that we all have trials. There is no comparing trials. We each have those dark nights where we finally fall to our knees and utter our most humble and sincere prayers. I feel blessed to have received comfort and answers in my dark nights. I know that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my unique sorrow as He is with each of us. And I know that the Comforter brings true and lasting peace as he speaks truth to our hearts and minds. I know that Cameron is an angel on an important mission. I know that someday, if I endure well, I will once again press my forehead to his and look into his blue eyes and feel that it was all worth it.

Cameron about 6 months

Yep here we go again...

We are having a boy! And we are so thrilled. I love our little guys and can't wait to meet this one. Boys are just fun--super high energy and crazy but so fun. It was, as always, amazing to have the ultrasound and see him. He looks healthy and great and let us know in more than one shot that he definitely is a boy. Now if only the doctor would have moved my due date up a month :).