So we moved across the street into a bigger place, a townhome. It is great with lots more space and even a small backyard. Thank goodness my Mom was here to help with Josh or I am not sure how we would have done it. It was nice to get all our stuff from Utah. But as the boxes kept coming and coming we thought, "Why do we have so much stuff?" and "Do we really need it?" I guess the new baby will appreciate a bed and some toys. And it is nice to have my own couch, or really I should say it's nice for Ben to have a place to sit. (I was usually sprawled on our one couch and Ben was on the floor or crammed at the end under my feet...poor guy with a pregnant wife).
We moved in last Saturday and when we went to church on Sunday they announced our ward was being split and the whole stake reorganized. I panicked. We moved with the premise of staying in the ward so we wouldn't have to completely start over again. It has taken me 6 months to make a few friends and feel comfortable. Only a handful of people know about Cameron. So throughout the week I calmed thinking we will at least be with the handful of friends we've made that live so close to us.
Sunday, our Relief Society lesson was on "bearing one another's burdens". I sat with my heart pounding out of my chest and finally gave in to the prompting to bear my testimony. I spoke of Cameron and all the amazing friends and family who truly have helped to bear my burden. Then Sunday night Ben went to the fireside to find out the new ward boundaries. We had moved ourselves right out of the ward. But only the tiny pocket of our neighborhood is now in a different ward. Meaning the few friends, who live 5 minute walking distance, are no longer in my ward.
Maybe this seems silly to some of you, but here the ward really can be a source of friends and social interactions. It has been hard for me starting over and I felt overwhelmed at the prospect of doing it again. Especially with the irony that I, only that same day, had finally shared about Cameron. Life just feels like it is racing along and I am clinging to the bumper with no view or idea of what direction I am headed.
I feel better about it all today. And I hope I will still keep some friends from the other ward and hopefully make some new ones too!
I feel kind of scattered and emotional, and I have decided that August will probably always be an emotional month for me. Miss my little guy Cameron so much!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Moved AGAIN
Posted by Cassi at 6:00 PM
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11 comments:
Your quote on the top of your blog speaks to the courage you have as you go through this hard time. "I will try again tomorrow." Hang in there. By the way, we thought of Cameron as we were at the Watertown library recently and saw his brick on the grounds. So sweet. He will always be a part of MA. We miss him and you guys in the Weston 2nd Ward.
OH Cass, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I can't stand the thought of moving right after getting comfy and having to "start over" again! That's super scary, and you'll be in my prayers! Luckily, your friends are still close- even though, I know it's always different, for some reason, when you're not in the same ward any more.
My favorite word is ENDURE, and you are an ever inspiring example to me of that word, so, as I tell Max almost every day- keep goin, we can start over tomorrow!
love you guys! You'll make it through....our hearts are with you!
We love you guys so much! I know how hard it is to start over because we're still in that new process! I know you will make MORE friends in the new ward and I'm glad you already have some that you felt like you could open up to about such a personal trial. You are so strong and I know It's a hard time for you right now. We are all thinking about Cameron this month as well as the rest of you. You guys will be on our thoughts and in our prayers.
Oh Cassi-How I wish I could give you a big hug right now! You are such a special person and I know the Lord watches over us all and maybe this split of the ward will bring something or someone that you really need in your life. That change can be so hard, but I know you can do it. You are an amazing woman!
I am so sorry that you have to start over. I still remember meeting you and Ben at the Payne's house on the 4th of July in 2003. I was so excited to get to know you guys and I was drawn to you and couldn't wait to get to know you. I am so grateful that we had the chance to be in the same ward and I was sad when we ended up moving into to different wards. I was really scared to be in the Belmont 1st ward while all our friends moved into the Weston ward. Now that I look back could you imagine if I had moved into the Weston ward as well? We may never had crossed paths with Johnny and Emily. It's scary, but I know you are an amazing women with an amazing family and I am sure people will be drawn to you. And you will always have those friends that live so close to you for the extra support you may need during this time of transition.
We miss you guys so much. We pray for you every night. Good luck with this new ward and hopefully things will go well!
I am so sorry you are starting over again in a new ward. Anyone who knows you, loves you. Your friends from your current ward will stick to you like glue - just like the rest of us - and people will gravitate towards you in the new ward. You are just those kind of people.
I can promise you that you made a huge difference in someone's life on Sunday. You are wonderful to share your story, love and light.
This is a hard month, in a new area - now in yet another new house - with a new pregnancy... you've got a lot on your plate. Be gentle with yourself.
(And come to Ireland.)
You will be loved and will love wherever you go... that is your gift. You are amazingly strong and you follow the promptings. You are where you are supposed to be. Love you!
Sass,
When we first moved to San Antonio I didn't have any close friends for the first year and a half. It was a really hard time for me but we carried on. I learned to appreciate a lot of different people and their life experiences. Something I'm really grateful for. In the last year we've had some fabulous people move in and I suddenly have some great friends. I know the Lord is mindful of each of us in our different circumstances. I'll be thinking of you, Cameron and Ben this month.
I know how hard it is to move to a new ward in a newer city. I had such a hard time moving to Belmont and felt like I did not fit in or that everyone already had friend. But you have such a great personality and the first time I meet you at craft night at Emily's house I thought you had such a fun personality and were so easy to talk to. People will be so excited to have you and Ben in there new ward. Sorry you have to start over. Amy
oh cassi - that is so sad. but you know there will be good that comes from yet another fresh start. i love you and am so mindful of what this weekend means for you. it is engrained in my heart and Aug 16th will never pass without my thinking of you guys and how much I love you and feel for you.
now how long do you plan to be in DC? my dearest friend, Sandra Turley is in a ward in MD, but husband josh works for Discovery in DC. she is LOVELY and if you ever come across her I'll be so happy.
good luck with everything!
love to ben
Cassi,
I have been thinking of you all month and wondering how you are doing. Today I realized I could get an update on your blog. I am glad that you have this for all of us to read. You are loved by so many. I am sorry to hear that you have been moved out of your ward. It is hard to move to a place where no one knows you and all that you have been through. I am sure once you can get the courage to tell the new ward or the RS about your sweet Cameron, it will help. That must be a really hard thing to do, but it is so much a part of you that to hold it in must feel worse.
Oh, Cassi, I wish I could give you a big hug right now. Know that you are loved and that you are in my prayers especially during this difficult month. I love you!
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