Last night we were driving home from Grandma's house and out of the blue Josh started this conversation.
"I don't want to be grown up when I go to heaven. I want to be able to play with Cameron when I am a kid not when I am grown up."
Ben and I just looked at each other. Then I told Josh that I didn't know the details of heaven and how it would all work out, but that I knew we would be happy and not wish for anything. I don't think my vague answer was very satisfying.
"I want to play with Cameron when I am a kid. Can we bless that I will beable to play with Cameron when I am a little boy. Dad you say the prayer and bless that tonight ok?"
A very heart wrenching conversation. And interesting that Josh has similar questions that I have. I believe that I will have the opportunity to raise Cameron again. That he will be resurrected and his little 21 month old body will be perfect and I will have the opportunity to be his mom again. But I have wondered too how that will be when my other children aren't children anymore....the sibling relationship won't be the same. My understanding is very limited now, and I have faith that all will be right. I know that I will feel blessed beyond measure to have been Cameron's mom. It is sweet to see Josh mulling it all over in his head too. I feel like Cameron has given our family a unique eternal perspective, which I am so thankful for.
Monday, April 4, 2011
From the mouth of babes...
Posted by Cassi at 8:19 AM
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8 comments:
What a sweet desire from little Josh. I want him to get to play with Cameron too as a kid! Somehow I feel like you, that things will all work out and we will be given those tender hearts' desires. I think you are right in that all we can do is trust in the Lord and His timing and not be limited to our current perspective. But how to explain that to little Josh right now seems tricky. What a sweetheart.
That Josh! I could just eat him up. I loved watching Cameron play with all his friends and see how sweet and kind he was to all his friends. He is a fun kid to play with and if it's possible I would like to play with him as a kid too! Cassi you have such great boys!!!
That is so cute. From the mouths of babes, but also a testament to what great teachers you and Ben are to your boys! I can't wait to see how it all unfolds...
That is one of the sweetest posts i've ever read. i've thought about that, too, actually. I've thought about these boys you have and how much fun the three of them will have together. I can't believe your 4 year old is having the same thoughts! you've got a smarty on your hands there...and he's got parents who are teaching him well!!!
oh man, that is heartbreaking. I wish we all had answers about the plan and how it will all work out. I'm sure that Cameron is wishing he could play with Josh too! I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I just bought all the kids shoes and I can't stop thinking about Cameron's giant red shoes... love you guys. I will call you one day soon, I swear!! Miss you!
What a sweet and tender kid -- and what faith in prayers! Congratulations to you guys on graduation and the new little one!! So fun to see Ben's photos and hear about his honors (so fun to see Brian in the pictures, too). We're going to be in Utah in June and would love to try to see you!
I haven't seen your blog for probably a year!! I think about Cameron and Boston and you guys all of the time. I feel so blessed that our lives crossed paths for those few years. We'll always have a special place in our heart for Cameron. We are anxious to see him again too. I am sure whatever the realty is at the resurrection it will be a joyful time. It's so fun to see recent pictures of your cute boys! They are so precious. You and Ben look great! How is it that you guys dont look any older?! Thanks so much for the text today. I was actually wondering just this morning if you had had your ultrasound yet Cassi! I'm SOOOO excited for you and Ben! I can't wait to see a miniature little Cassi! Keep in touch!! Andrea
Oh, how heartbreaking. So sweet. I love that even though it's hard and you don't have the answers you talk about Cameron to his brothers. That they love him is really amazing.
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